Every marriage has its problems, which can occur at any time. The important thing is to learn to deal with it gently and before they destroy the relationship. I want to write about tips for a happy and lasting marriage.
Whether you are an old couple or a newly married couple, there are basic rules to follow. It is not always easy to put them into practice, but it is important to do so. If you respect them, your marriage will be all the more solid and you will appreciate even more the good sides of life in two – pleasure, confidence, affection.

1. Look for love balance
Boredom, frustration and daily irritations can put out the flame between you and it is not by multiplying them that you will rekindle it. However, you can do it if you focus on the good sides of your relationship. Here’s how to do it:

It takes an average of twenty positive remarks to compensate for the harm resulting from a single negative comment, a hard look or an impatient “hum”. Therefore, reinforce the positive and moderate the negative. Compliment your wife for Every Small Things. Thank them for their participation in household chores. Call her at her office to tell her that you are thinking about her (most importantly, avoid discussing household chores or bad grades from children).

Make sure your compliments and thanks are sincere and specific: “I know I can always count on you to keep my car safe and in perfect working order.” “This tablecloth is very pretty. You always find a way to make our house a pleasant place. ”Look your partner in the eye when you smile or compliment him. Accompany a tender gesture with a small happy sigh.

When you adopt this attitude, you realize that, in addition to knowing how to irritate your partner, you know how to please them. After all, that’s how the relationship started. We also discover that there is always time to express your affection. When you come home at night, hug him and kiss him so he knows you are happy to see him. On a rainy Sunday morning, surprise her by bringing her coffee in bed (and stay to chat with her). Know how to appreciate its qualities and ignore its faults. To let her know how happy you are with her, give her your best smile when you carry the recycling bin to the curb. Make up your mind to kiss each other for a long time every night before you go to bed. You do lots of little things for your children; why not for your spouse?

2. Keep in mind that no one is perfect
It is sometimes tempting to make your spouse bear the responsibility for the feelings of anger, disappointment, boredom or stress that you feel towards your marriage. From there to think that, to improve your relationship, it is he who must change, there is only one step.

It is a mistake. When you try to change your spouse, you put him on the defensive and you end up in the role of the hateful character. Result of the races: neither of them changes or takes responsibility for their actions, and both are unhappy. Not to mention that, by transforming your spouse into a villain, you ignore all that is good in him and that constitutes the essential of his person.

The solution is to change yourself. When one recognizes one’s own faults and pays attention to the qualities of the other, magic appears. Optimism returns. The partner feels better because he knows he is more appreciated and less criticized. And the two members of the couple find the motivation to change so as to give birth to even more joy.

Something that might help you think like this: adopt the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi, that is, accepting imperfection. The next time your spouse does something you don’t like, take a deep breath and repeat wabi sabi in a low voice, telling yourself that his intentions are good, even if he does it wrong. Know how to recognize his qualities and name them, for example: “My wife is caring” or “my husband is humorous”. Then associate this statement with a specific example: “She removed the snow on my windshield last week” or “when I’m sad, he can make me laugh”.

Finally, make peace with your imperfections. Sometimes we take responsibility for what is wrong with the couple. In high doses, guilt paralyzes. Know how to recognize your qualities, name them and illustrate them with examples: “I am affectionate and kind; yesterday I gave up on the last cookie and left it with my wife. 

3. Put some energy into it
Here’s the classic advice that experts give to singles looking for the perfect partner: be the ideal partner yourself and the one you are looking for will come to you. The same goes for marriage. The happier you are, the happier your marriage will be and the better you will manage conflicts. If 15 minutes of morning yoga, switching to a decaf or a new hobby does you any good, this will be reflected in your relationship, which will only be richer and happier.

In the meantime, recognize it: in the past, you took great care of your hair and were always looking for the sexiest lingerie item in town, but today, you are content with a stained tracksuit and of an old distorted t-shirt. It’s time to revamp your appearance a bit. Paint your mane, brush your teeth and put on a new dress. You will like what you see in the mirror, your eyes will only shine more and your eyes will ignite your husband. You know what you have to do next!

4.  Be loyal in your disputes
In a marriage, conflicts are normal, even healthy. It’s how you manage them that matters. In a Florida study, 70% of long-time couples who said they were satisfied with their relationship believed that joint problem solving was a key factor; only 33% of dissatisfied couples had mastered this approach. With a good attitude and the right tools, conflicts prepare the way for greater intimacy: the possibility of being seen and loved for what one is, of accepting, in all its beauty, the vulnerability of one’s spouse and to strengthen the bonds of marriage, free from resentment and despair.

Above all, avoid criticism, Increase Communication and Love More, After following 79 couples for more than 10 years, researchers at the University of California found that those who divorced early argued long and loudly, and were always ready to attack or fight. defend. In contrast, happy couples avoided criticism, escalation and words like “never” and “always”.
If an argument arises, try to change the subject, inject a dose of humor, show sympathy or show your partner that you like him. If it is a waste of time, step aside for a moment to calm down.

5. Open your ears wide.
The best thing you can do to strengthen your relationship is to talk less and listen more. Reproaches, insults, criticism and intimidation can only lead to rupture or, at least, to a hellish life. When conservation takes on the character of a fight, allow your partner to express their feelings. There will always be time to propose a solution or to defend yourself. Shake your head, rephrase one of his sentences or simply signal him with a delicate “yes-yes” that you recognize the emotions behind his words. Sometimes all you need to get close to the other is to pay attention to what he really has to say.

I will finish by saying that the couple’s success is like the rest, it is cultivated. That when one wishes that his couple is balanced, happy, it is necessary to install bases, built on communication, sharing, listening, respect and love of course.

My Reference Links :

1. https://www.caclubindia.com/forum/change-of-surname-after-marriage-510865.asp
2. https://social.msdn.microsoft.com/Profile/rudrakshpartyplot
3. https://sourceforge.net/u/rudrakshpartypl/wiki/Home/
4. https://en.gravatar.com/rudrakshpartyplot
5. https://www.intensedebate.com/people/Akash_Sheth
6. https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/97589482-akash-sheth